Cycle of Violence

cycle-of-violence

The “Cycle of Violence” can happen hundreds of times in an abusive relationship. Each stage lasts a different amount of time. The total cycle can take anywhere from a few hours to a year or more to complete.

cycle_of_violence

It is IMPORTANT to remember that not all domestic violence relationships fit this cycle.

Often, as time goes on and the cycle is repeated, the violent episodes become more severe. The “honeymoon” and “calm” stages greatly decrease or may even disappear.

There are 4 stages to the Cycle of Violence. Each relationship will have it’s own pattern and some of the stages will last longer than others. Regardless of the specifics, if your relationship exhibits this cycle get help as soon as possible. REACH can provide you the support and guidance you need to move towards a violence-free life.

“Tension-Building” Stage

  • communication breaks down
  • stress begins to build
  • abuser may be critical and make demands
  • small, violent incidents may occur
  • family denies/minimizes violence
  • survivor feels need to keep abuser calm
  • survivor feels like they are “walking on egg shells”
  • verbal abuse increases
  • survivor senses increasing danger

“Violent/Explosive” Stage – When abuse happens

  • many forms of abuse may occur (emotional/physical/sexual)
  • anxiety is extremely high
  • major violence occurs
  • abuser is explosive/unpredictable or seems to be “out of control”
  • abuser blames survivor
  • survivor accommodates in order to survive
  • survivor may believe escape is futile
  • survivor may escape and then return after crisis is over
  • survivor may collapse emotionally

“Making Up” Stage

  • Abuser says “I’m sorry”, promises it won’t happen again, cries, begs
  • Blames partner “you made me…”
  • Denies the abuse took place or says it wasn’t as bad as partner claims
  • Gives gifts to partner
  • Makes promises,
  • “I’ll stop drinking/using drugs.”
  • “I’ll go to AA/NA.”
  • “You can see your friends again.”
  • “I’ll go to church with you.”

“Calm/Honeymoon” Stage

  • entire family is initially in shock
  • abuser may be remorseful/seek forgiveness
  • abuser may promise the violence will never happen again
  • abuser is afraid that the partner will leave
  • children help keep the peace and become the “caretakers”
  • abuser may be loving and kind
  • abuser may give survivor gifts
  • family denies violence will happen again
  • abuser acts like abuse never happened/survivor hopes abuse is over

Download Cycle of Violence

Support REACH

REACH of Haywood County, Inc. serves survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault through advocacy, community outreach and prevention education to empower individuals to live a self-sufficient life free of violence.

LEARN MORE

How Can We Help You?

How can we contact you?




REACH to hold volunteer training January 23rd

REACH of Haywood is seeking volunteers to assist with the our Helpline phone services, and to participate in other ways through Friends of REACH committees. […]

January 6, 2016 – REACH thanks community for holiday donations

By Anna Denson As the new year dawns and the holidays draw to a close, REACH of Haywood would like to thank everyone who contributed […]

How to Help a Friend Who is Being Abused

by Anna Denson Article also appears in The Mountaineer. Domestic violence. Dating violence. Sexual assault. They are uncomfortable topics, to say the least. Often, we […]

dvpo

Domestic Violence Protective Order?

Do you feel as though you or someone you love is being abused? If so, the solutions are multi-layered. First and foremost, you must consider […]

December 18, 2015 – REACH receives $1,600 from Motorcycle Parade and Toy Run

By Anna Denson Article also available at The Mountaineer   REACH of Haywood County, a local non-profit serving survivors of sexual assault, domestic violence, and […]

Recovery is Possible for Everyone

By Marie Romeo, Meridian Behavioral Health Services, with the Haywood County Domestic Violence and Sexual Violence Task Force   Six months ago, when Anthony (not […]

April 20, 2015 – Denim Day for sexual assault awareness is April 29

(article courtesy of The Mountaineer newspaper) Members of the Haywood County Domestic Violence/Sexual Assault Task Force, including Haywood Community College, are urging all community members, […]

June 18, 2015 – The public can now support REACH of Haywood by shopping through AmazonSmile

REACH of Haywood is happy to announce that you can now support our efforts simply by doing your normal shopping on Amazon. All it takes […]

cycle-of-violence

Cycle of Violence

The “Cycle of Violence” can happen hundreds of times in an abusive relationship. Each stage lasts a different amount of time. The total cycle can […]

marital rape

Marital Rape

What is Marital Rape? Marital rape is often misunderstood because many women feel they have no voice when it comes to their husband or long-term […]